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When a movie release is followed by the line “From the writers of ‘Sexy Beast’” and stars two of that movie’s leads then you may think you know what you’re getting, and you’d be half-right.  ’44 Inch Chest’ may seem like a London-based gangster story but is in fact a telling portrayal of the unravelling of one man’s psyche as he deals with his wife’s infidelity.

Ray Winstone plays Colin Diamond, whose world has fallen apart after his wife of twenty-one years announces she is having an affair with a much younger French waiter.  This we learn in flashback, as we also learn that Colin is a bit handy with his fists and takes it out on his wife Liz (Joanne Whalley).  Colin’s friends Archie (Tom Wilkinson), Meredith (Ian McShane), Mal (Stephen Dillane) and Old Man Peanut (John Hurt) pick him up, go and grab the unfortunate waiter (known only as ‘Loverboy’) and then go to a boarded-up house they use as a hideout, where they lock Loverboy in the wardrobe as they try to convince the increasingly unstable Colin that he should kill the terrified captive.

And that is essentially it, so anybody looking for an action-filled gangster movie will probably be highly disappointed.  Coming off more like a Steven Berkoff play (Berkoff himself does appear in the movie) the focus here is on characters rather than actions, but ironically it’s the one character that we should be focusing on who is the most underdeveloped, and that is Colin himself.  The supporting characters are pretty much defined as soon as we meet them – Archie is a middle-aged mummy’s boy, Meredith a flamboyant homosexual, Mal is the slightly unhinged tough guy and Old Man Peanut is a throwback to a time when men were men and women knew their place, and they have obviously all done jobs together in the past – yet Colin seems strangely underwritten, and as he battles with his demons to try and reach a resolve it’s very hard to know how to feel about him.

That said, Winstone’s performance is quite powerful, despite not having much to work with.  He takes up most of the screen time as his character goes through several hallucinatory sequences, guilt trips and flashbacks, and Winstone throws himself into it completely, but it all seems a bit like padding to wrap around a character that doesn’t really have much else to do.  The other cast members are superb in their roles – McShane and Hurt both brilliant and obviously relishing their roles, and are the two that seem to have any sort of development as the movie goes on – and although there may be an over excessive use of the c-word in the script, the characters that use it are fairly well established so it never seems false or out of place.

Overall, this is a well made and nicely acted piece of drama that covers a whole range of emotions from laughter to shocks, and it gets to its point fairly quickly.  On the downside, after a pretty big build-up and some tense scene-setting, it doesn’t really go anywhere, resulting in a pretty anticlimactic ending.  The character of Colin wasn’t fully developed and it seems the writers didn’t know where to go with him, and after a pretty dramatic first half the movie just sort of slips away into nothingness.

Rating: 5/10

Summary: Solid performances and great first half that doesn’t really go anywhere.  Unsatisfactory.

If you like this then try: Sexy Beast, Reservoir Dogs, Face, Love Honour and Obey.

So here it is – the one remake they’d dare not cock up.  Although there’s a lot of love for Jason Voorhees and Leatherface, the character of Freddy Krueger seems to hold a special place in many a horror fanatic’s heart, and although it was only a matter of time before A Nightmare on Elm Street was tackled – following the commercial successes of excellent The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the pretty good The Amityville Horror and the dire Friday the 13^th remakes – Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes production company must have felt the pressure of creating a new take on modern horror cinema’s most iconic villain that would satisfy the most hardened of gorehounds.

The plot is pretty close to Wes Craven’s 1984 original, albeit with a few little twists here and there.  In the town of Springwood, a group of teenagers are all sharing a collective dream about a horribly disfigured maniac with knives for fingers on his right hand who seems to be stalking them.  It turns out that the man is Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Hayley), the caretaker at the pre-school where all the kids attended when they were younger, who was burned alive by the vengeful parents of the kids after it turned out that Krueger was sexually abusing them.  Now seemingly unstoppable, Krueger haunts their dreams to extract his revenge on the children who told on him, but if he kills you in your dream you die for real.

No doubt most of you know the plot already, so let’s get down to the details you want to know – it isn’t as good as the original, JEH’s darker take on Freddy is good and as a short summary the movie is good but not great.  Do you notice the multiple use of the word ‘good’?  That’s because that is all this movie is.  The original movie may not have been perfect but it did have several things going for it – a truly frightening concept about a dream killer, characters that you cared about and a central performance from the genial Robert Englund as Freddy that was scary, yet so completely watchable, that you came away knowing you’d seen something truly unique and entertaining.  Obviously the makers of this one have to stick to some of the conventions set by the original, but most of the news ideas just come off as uninspired and mediocre.

Starting off strongly with a pretty decent dream kill, the movie lurches from one dream sequence to the next with the usual string of gormless characters that don’t encourage any sympathy from the audience.  Only the character of Kris (Katie Cassidy) is fairly likeable and deserves some of our attention, but the rest are pretty interchangeable with any other faceless teen from any recent horror movie.  Normally this wouldn’t spoil a movie like this too much as the more violent scenes would make up for it, but with the original …Elm Street it was the development of Nancy from apple-cheeked do-gooder to Rambo-esque heroine and her battles with Freddy that were so compelling; here, Nancy (Rooney Mara) is so bland and non-descript that whenever she’s onscreen then the urge to fall asleep becomes too much, and that shouldn’t happen in a …Nightmare… movie.  Also, considering the sub-text of blaming the kids for the parent’s wrong-doings that runs through both the original and this movie, there is a distinct lack of an authority figure to try and figure out what’s going on, like John Saxon’s commanding turn as Nancy’s dad in the original.  The normally screen-filling Clancy Brown (Starship Troopers, The Shawshank Redemption) appears as the father of one of the group but doesn’t actually do much apart from magically appear whenever somebody gets close to working out who Freddy is, and that seems such a waste of a great talent.

Of course, there’s only one character that audiences really want to see done correctly.  Robert Englund was so iconic in the role of the ‘Springwood Slasher’ that any actor taking on the role would have his work cut out, and all credit to Jackie Earle Hayley for making the character creepy again after Englund’s increasingly camp performances throughout the original series.  Making Krueger a paedophile, and showing evidence of his crimes, was a brave move by the makers and handled in the right way, and considering what Hayley was given to work with script-wise he does a decent job of making Freddy somebody to fear.  His facial make-up has been heavily criticised for looking too much like a real burns victim – making the character somewhat sympathetic and more like an out-patient – but remember how cheesy Englund’s make-up became as the series went on?  Hayley’s voice has also been frowned upon by many saying it lacks any charisma and is quite flat – again, compared to Englund’s theatrical delivery – but given the context of this character in this movie it does add an almost hypnotic quality that Krueger would no doubt employ to entice his victims.  No, the only thing really wrong with this new Freddy is the fact that, apart from the face, the costume is the same as the old Freddy – red and green stripy jumper, battered fedora hat and that glove – which sort of makes it look like they just transplanted a new face and voice onto the old character.  Another quality that Hayley adds to the character is the frantic twitching that he does with his claw before he goes in for the kill – not a major character development, but a nice little touch that adds an extra bit of menace.

So vacuous and underdeveloped characters, a bit of a naff script, gaping plot-holes (the kids all went to pre-school together but don’t remember each other as teenagers?) and some pacing problems aside there are some pretty cool moments here.  It is quite refreshing to see Freddy killing with his glove once again instead of using any number of fantasy kills (no death-by-Nintendo here!), and the deaths are pretty brutal.  Some of the imagery is quite startling – the scene where Nancy sees the body bag in the hallway is recreated in a much scarier fashion, although the death where Freddy throws his victim around in the air like Tina’s death in the original isn’t quite as effective – and Hayley, despite not being a very big man, casts a decently intimidating silhouette in some of the movie’s many dimly-lit scenes.  It’s also worth noting that returning to the ‘real world’ setting of dreams rather than the comic-book visuals used in the  Dream Master/Dream Child sequels was a wise move, making the dream sequences more realistic and effective.

Overall, then, what we have here is a movie that is better than expected, but doesn’t quite deliver the definitive Freddy film that we all wanted.  Apparently Jackie Earle Hayley has signed up to make two sequels, so maybe once the makers are free of trying to re-create scenes from the original then we’ll get something that feels a little less forced.  If you’ve never seen any of the original series then you’ll probably get more out of this than some of the more seasoned Freddy fans amongst us. But if you’ve grown up with Freddy constantly being a part of your movie-watching habits then you’ll probably find that you may have to wait for the ultimate …Nightmare… movie. 

Rating: 6/10

Summary: Underwhelming but still very watchable, this isn’t the worst remake from the current crop but could have and should have been much better.

If you like this then try: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Amityville Horror (2005), Rob Zombie’s Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, The Hills Run Red, Freddy vs. Jason.

 For more information on A Nightmare on Elm Street go to: http://www.nightmareonelmstreet.com/

It’s official – the zombie movie has now gone the way of the vampire movie.  Devoid of being able to inject anything new into the genre, pointless rehashes of all of your favourite moments from the classics are shoehorned into 96 minutes of brain-melting tedium that somebody reckoned was fit to be released, probably going on the theory that horror fans will fork out for anything with the words ‘…of the Dead’ in the title.

In case you haven’t seen any of George A. Romero’s original zombie movies, the uneven remakes or any of the other spoofs and affectionate tributes out there then you may wish to know the plot of this one, and here it is; Interpol agents escorting a prisoner across Eastern Europe come across a horde of flesh-eating zombies.  Yes, it’s hardly original but the big draw of this movie is the casting of Dawn of the Dead legend Ken Foree as Agent Mortimer Reyes.

So we have zombies, an established genre star and filmmakers with enough genre knowledge to throw plenty of knowing winks towards an audience who will no doubt lap it all up, so why doesn’t it work?  Well, bad acting, naff script, an overuse of obvious genre references, severe pacing problems, terribly thin plot and an identity crisis that tries to place the movie somewhere between the grim seriousness of Romero and the very knowing and clever Shaun of the Dead, except this movie spectacularly manages to fail at achieving either any sense of drama or any sense of wit.

Imagine the looks on the faces of the makers when Ken Foree agreed to be in this movie – just imagine how happy they were to have arguably the one actor most associated with Romero’s original zombie series on board for their ego trip project.  Then imagine how absolutely desperate Ken Foree must have been to agree to do it – with a recent return to the genre with appearances in such high profile genre movies as Rob Zombie’s Halloween, The Devil’s Rejects, Black Santa’s Revenge and Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake, it makes no sense as to why he would want to do it.  Maybe he didn’t want to do it, as his rather bored and uninterested performance smacks of just-doing-it-for-the-money.

As for the other elements, there’s no point going into it too much.  The movie lurches from uninspired talky moment to slightly improved action sequence and back again fairly infrequently, the point of the prisoner is never really explained – and neither is the Biblical quoting guy (there’s always one) who either can’t deliver a serious line or has no grasp of irony – and the zombie attacks are shot in a fast-editing style similar to Snyder’s Dawn… remake, although this might be because the zombie make-up isn’t that good and any long shots may show this up.

The best and worst moments in this movie are both lines delivered by Foree – the best has the group of survivors look for sanctuary and somebody suggests that they hide in the local shopping mall; Foree knowingly rolls his eyes and says they can’t as the zombies “would get in anyway” (if you need that explaining then you’re looking at the wrong website!).  Contrast this to the blatant rewrite of Foree’s original “When there’s no more room in Hell…” speech that he forces out like he was forcing out a turd after a heavy curry, and there you have the movie in a nutshell – forced, painful and not very satisfactory as you know there’ll probably be more to come.

Rating: 2/10

Summary: Dull and cringeworthy waste of time that, unfortunately due to Ken Foree’s appearance, completists will probably feel obliged to own.

If you like this then try: Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis, Resident Evil, The Zombie Diaries, Dawn of the Dead (2004), House of the Dead.

Click on images to purchase ‘Apocalypse of the Dead’.

Otherwise known as ‘The Medieval Dead’, ‘Bruce Campbell vs. the Army of Darkness’, or if you’re in Japan, ‘Captain Supermarket’ (!), ‘Evil Dead 3′ marks the final part of director Sam Raimi’s trilogy that began all those years ago in that run-down log cabin in the Tennessee woods, with a geeky Ash (Bruce Campbell) battling all manner of demons who had taken possession of his friends and left him with no way of escape.

The movie picks up right where part two left off, with Ash having being transported through time by the power of the Necronomicon – the Book of the Dead – and ending up in the fourteenth century, where he finds himself captured by Lord Arthur and his men – one can assume that he’s landed in medieval England – and cast into the pit, where he encounters two ‘deadites’. After disposing of them in his usual obnoxious fashion (with his ‘boomstick’), Ash then has to figure out a way to get home. Believing Ash to be some sort of deity, the village wiseman tells him the only way to get back to his own time is to retrieve the Necronomicon from an ancient cemetery, but he must recite the special magic words before removing it. On his way to the cemetery, Ash encounters the unseen force that has tormented him since the first movie, and in doing so creates a doppelganger that he soon disposes of. Of course, when Ash gets to the cemetery and recites the words, he gets it wrong and the forces of darkness, led by the doppelganger Ash, are unleashed, forcing Ash and the villagers to confront the demons for the ultimate showdown.

Does Ash get back to his own time? Or does the Army of Darkness prevail and keep Ash trapped in the middles ages? You’ll have to watch it, but there are two endings to this movie, and funnily enough, the ending that wasn’t used in the UK version is the better one (the alternative ending is included in the dvd extras). As it is, ‘Evil Dead 3′ is somewhat of an oddity, as it isn’t really a horror film in the traditional sense, but nor could you call it any other type of film – at a stretch you could label it a dark fantasy, but this would discredit the comedy aspect plus everything laid down by the movie’s prequels. The movie should really have been called ‘Ash & The Three Stooges meet Jason and the Argonauts on the Planet of the Apes’ as the whole movie really plays out like those old swashbuckling adventure movies. There’s next to no blood, slime or any other oozing liquids as in the previous movies, the ‘deadites’ are either ridiculously slapstick or skeletal with no features, there’s far too many crass one-liners and the whole thing just feels like one big compromise by the makers to get the movie seen by a wider audience.

That being said, though, this movie really is fun. Bruce Campbell again gives the perfect performance of Ash – part geek, part super hero – and, although the scipt may lean towards the cheesy, he delivers his lines with remarkable charisma. Again, you sympathise with Ash as he goes through the movie and gets seriously put upon by nearly everyone (or thing) he encounters. The Three Stooges-style comedy that was started in part two is exploited to the maximum here – indeed, the scene in the cemetery where Ash has a fist fight with skeletal hands still emerging from the ground is pure Stooges – and although fans of the original movie may howl in protest, it is quite amusing. The effects are very good, and although obviously the best of the series in terms of budget, they don’t seem to have the charm of the first movie. Indeed, this seems to be a common thread throughout this movie. It’s well made, looks good, pacy and competently acted, but ultimately seems to fall flat when taking into account what went before.

Overall, ‘Evil Dead 3′ is the weakest of the trilogy, mainly due to the fact that that the ‘Evil Dead’ mythology that was created in the first movie has been compromised and watered down for mass consumption. The fact that the movie wasn’t very successful at the box office is indication enough that alienating your core fan base really isn’t a good idea. Instead, after the rollercoaster ride of the first movie and the tortured madness of the second, you’re left with a movie that’s got less shocks and gore than a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie, and when the movie has the words ‘Evil Dead’ in it’s title, we really should have got a lot more.

Rating: 6/10

Summary:  Great fun, but not as gory or horrific as the previous ‘Evil Dead’ movies.

If you like this then try:  Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn, Jason & the Argonauts, My Name is Bruce, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Click on DVD cover to purchase.

‘Under a Serpent Sun’ is the documentary part of the forthcoming At the Gates triple-DVD set ‘The Flames of the End’ and charts the history of the Swedish death metal legends from obscure underground beginnings to their triumphant 2008 reunion tour.

Filmed and directed by guitarist Anders Bjorler, the documentary is a mixture of home videos, bootleg fan footage and professionally shot concert film that perfectly captures what made At the Gates such a force in extreme metal – and metal as a whole – and why they are remembered so fondly by fans and peers alike. Starting with the band’s inception from the ashes of proto-black metal band Grotesque, nearly everybody involved – including producers, former members and touring partners – recants tales of hard graft and dedication that would, or should, make all those desperate wannabes on Saturday night television looking for instant fame give up and disappear, such is the hard work that goes into getting your music noticed.

Indeed, one of the movie’s most amusing moments comes when drummer Adrian Erlandsson recants the tale of when the band toured with Yorkshire’s My Dying Bride, whom the band thought were hugely successful at the time. Unfortunately, they weren’t and the two bands ended up touring around Europe in a pair of logistics vans with no rear windows. That is until the At the Gates van crashed into the other, and then it was touring around Europe in one van plus a small rental car. That’s dedication for you.

Of course, it’s the progression of the band and their music that is at the core of this movie and as great as the earlier material is, it’s really the band’s final studio album – 1995’s ‘Slaughter of the Soul’ – that remains their legacy. Mixing brutality and melodies with almost perfect synchronicity, the album is still the benchmark by which all other similarly-styled albums are measured – their ‘Reign in Blood’, if you like – and the band are at pains to point out that they don’t want to tarnish the album’s reputation by releasing inferior material over a decade later, happily leaving the album as their studio swansong.

Touchingly honest and obviously painstakingly put together, band documentaries don’t come any better than this. Even if you’re not a fan of the music, then just hearing how the band managed to get to where they are is a lesson that any musician should take note of. The contributions by former members are also revealing, especially those of former guitarist Alf Svensson, who even contributed lyrics and artwork after he left the band to open a tatto parlour and is still held in high regard by the band, including his replacement. The live footage, especially the Wacken 2008 show, is brilliant and shows what a rapport the band has with their fans and what a fantastic live act they are. There may not be any new material coming our way, but this movie neatly signs off the career of a band who certainly left a mark in music and can justifiably be proud of their legacy.

Rating: 9/10

Summary: Lovingly put together and extensively detailed look at a band who have more than earned their legendary reputation.

If you like this then try:  Cannibal Corpse: Centuries of Torment, Paradise Lost: Over the Madness, Iron Maiden: The Early Years Part 1.

Click on DVD cover to purchase.